


Behind the Curtains

by collatorsden_archivist



Category: Ashes to Ashes, Life on Mars & Related Fandoms, Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, R/NC-17 - Brown Cortina, Time Period: 1973-1981 (Life on Mars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-08
Updated: 2010-08-08
Packaged: 2019-01-20 17:04:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12437553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collatorsden_archivist/pseuds/collatorsden_archivist
Summary: Gene's got a secret, and Sam's shocked.





	Behind the Curtains

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Janni, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [the Collators' Den](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Collators%27_Den), which was moved to the AO3 to ensure access and longevity for the fanworks. I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in October 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the Collators' Den collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/collatorsden/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Oops, I did it again! After having written my first LoM story I was absolutely sure it would also remain my only one since I couldn't imagine ever finding another story to tell. But then I read "Second Best" and "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" by the fabulous bistokids and somehow got inspired again. Well, a plot bunny bit me hard. Is this what happened to you, ladies?

Sam ground his hips against Gene's as they kissed long and deep. It had finally happened - after months of dancing around each other, too confused or scared to do anything about their feelings for each other, the tension had just been too much. Both being slightly intoxicated after a long night at the Arms, Sam had again snitched the car keys from Gene and forced him to take a walk home. Being concerned as he was, he had accompanied him to the terraced house which, up to now, he had only seen from the outside. But this time Gene had invited him in, offering him a nightcap while waiting for the taxi he was going to call. Well, that call never happened as they sat there in the living room, together, talking shop and all the while drinking, Gene smoking, sitting lazily in his armchair. Sam had been sitting on the couch but than had gotten agitated over police procedure and was walking up and down in the living room. After some time, it seemed that Gene was starting to see reason, he had stopped arguing with Sam and was sitting there quite calmly, sipping on his whisky. Sam took this as a good sign, a very good one. He stood close to Gene, closer and closer, and finally was sitting on the armrest, looking Gene deep in the eyes. That was the moment when Gene had dropped his tumbler of whisky and had grabbed Sam, hard, pulling him down onto his lap. Sam wiggled around to get more comfortable but didn't shy away. Why would he? He had dreamt of kissing Gene so often, and now his face was so close to Gene's that he could smell his breath of smoke and drink, the strong musk he exuded after a day's work... Sam closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, lowering his head towards Gene's, almost closing the small gap between them. Gene put a hand around his neck and pulled him closer, first tentatively wiping his lips across Sam's, licking them, then mouthing him ferociously. Since their position was awkward, they both started getting up, still kissing, holding on to each other like drowning men. Which they were - drowning in the intensity of their feelings for each other. Drowning in each other's eyes when they came up for air.

 

Gene quickly started to undo Sam's shirt buttons, pulling the garment from his shoulders, then pulling his vest up to reveal Sam's flat belly. He slowly drew his fingers up under the vest, finding a nipple and stroking it, then lowering his hand again down Sam's side, feeling his rips under the skin, holding him close. Sam stood there, his head hanging down, breathing hard. He then started stroking Gene's belly, sides and back slowly. Gene shivered though still being fully clothed. A state which Sam intended to change in an instant. He started fiddling on Gene's belt, then opened his trousers and slowly pulled down the zip over Gene's pants which were bulging considerably. Gene watched him closely, his green eyes staring at him intensely. Then he pulled Sam into a hard kiss again while gently rubbing his lower back, his fingers dipping into Sam's tight trousers. As Sam noticed that his hand, as elegant and long-fingered it might be, couldn't reach any further down, he quickly undid his fly, easing his trousers down a little. Gene grunted and pushed deeper, reaching under Sam's pants and grapping his arse. Sam almost fell forward and delved even deeper into Gene's kiss. He held the other man close, still pulling him closer.

 

Finally, Gene removed his hand from Sam's backside and took a step backwards. Sam moaned at the loss of physical contact, looking up at Gene with lust-filled eyes. Gene's mouth hang slightly open, his eyes flicking back and forth, then he focused on Sam with a determined look. He then pulled up his trousers again which had started to lower themselves onto his hips, turned and started to walk towards the staircase, throwing a short glance and smirk back over his shoulder. Sam secured his own trousers and followed him swift.

 

At the top of the staircase, Sam saw several doors. Gene lead him to the last one which he pushed open slowly, as if at first checking the state of the room behind it. There was a single bed in the room, unmade. Several items of clothing were lying around on the floor, others were hanging on their racks. Gene closed the door behind Sam and pulled him close again. They started kissing again, both pushing into each other, wanting to make as much contact as possible. Sam squeezed a hand in between them and pushed it against Gene's groin which was still covered in his Y-fronts. Gene nuzzled into Sam's neck and moaned. Sounded like "God, it's been so long...," Sam thought. Yes, it had taken them quite a long time to get to this point... Gene started massaging Sam's arse again and Sam stopped thinking and started groaning, loudly. Suddenly, he startled. "You're wife's away? I mean...she might hear us if you continue..."

 

Gene stopped dead in his tracks. He immediately pulled his hand out of Sam's pants and let go of Sam completely. "Gene...", Sam started tentatively. But Gene just looked at him with an expression Sam had never seen on him, shock and hurt and fear and something else he couldn't quite place. Then Gene turned without saying a word and left the room. Sam heard footsteps outside and the loud bang of a door being closed with too much force.

 

Sam just stood there in the middle of the room, wondering what just had happened. Of course... "You idiot!" he told himself. Mentioning the Guv's wife at a crucial moment like that... Gene never talked about her at work, no one had seen her in ages as he had stopped bringing her to the annual police ball, presumably after that incident of someone hitting on her some years ago. There were rumours of her having left Gene months ago but Sam had not believed those because he had assumed that Gene would either have mentioned something to Ray or Phyllis or at least someone would have noticed anything, a change of his daily routine, the state of his clothes... But nothing had changed. Well, not much. Gene had always liked his drink, liked to spend the evenings around his colleagues at the Railway Arms, gone home late but nevertheless gone home at the end of the day, even after spending a little more time than necessary with his DI. No-one had noticed anything out of order indicating that the missus had indeed left.

 

Sam sat down on the bed, trying to figure out what to do. He had been waiting for this to happen for so long. Dreaming about his DCI working up his courage to give in to his quite obvious flirting. Of course, him already being the resident "poof", no-one there had taken his tentative advances seriously. He just had hoped that Gene would, one day. And now, after he finally, finally had acknowledged his buried feelings for his subordinate, Sam had been so stupid to mention his WIFE!

 

There were little noises coming from one of the other rooms which, Sam assumed, might the bathroom. At first, he couldn't quite decide what sounds they were. Some little huffing, some muffled, laboured breathing... "The tosser's wanking in there, with me standing here like an idiot!" Sam's anger immediately took over and he opened the bedroom door, striding out into the dark corridor and looking for the room from which those sounds emerged. He saw the light under the door and walked briskly towards it. His hand already on the doorknob, he stopped. Walking in on his DCI while he was tossing off wasn't exactly what he wanted to see now. So he tentatively knocked on the door. The sounds continued. "Gene?" he inquired. The sounds stopped for a little while but there was no answer. Then, he heard them again. But standing close to the door now, his ear against it, listening, it didn't sound so much like a man wanking, huffing in excitement. The sound was more muffled, the breathing shallow, and the groans sounded more like sobs. Sobs?? Gene Hunt didn't cry... did he??

 

"Gene?" he tried again but again there was no reaction. He then slowly turned the doorknob, pushing slightly against the door to check whether it was locked. It wasn't. "Gene?"

 

The sight almost shocked him more than anything he had ever seen before, which was a lot, him having been a police officer for quite some time now. Gene sat on the floor, his back to the bathtub, his arms resting on his knees and his face buried in his hands. His body shook from the sobbing, his hands were wet from the tears he had shed. He hadn't reacted to Sam's coming into the room at all. Sam quickly crossed the room and lowered himself down onto his knees beside Gene.

 

"Gene, what's wrong? I'm sorry... I know I shouldn't have mentioned your wife in a situation like that. I'm sorry." He put a tentative hand on Gene's shoulder. Gene seemed to stir from his empathy and slowly lifted his head. His eyes were red-rimmed and swollen already, his look lost and unfocused. "Gene?" Sam asked again. Gene looked up to him and grimaced uncomfortably. "You still 'ere?"

 

Sam further lowered himself onto the floor next to Gene and put a hand on Gene's knee. "You want me to leave?" Gene looked at him and shrugged. "Well, you've already seen me crying in me bathroom like a little girl. No need to leave now, I assume."

 

"Gene, do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Sam asked. Gene stared at him. "Does it have to do with your wife? Did she leave you?" Sam inquired further.

 

Gene's head dropped down and his eyes filled with tears again, one of them slowly creeping over his lid and dripping down his cheek. Sam's gaze was fixed on it and he felt the urge to kiss it away... but not now. He wanted to talk to Gene. "What happened?" he asked again

 

Gene shuddered and sniffled and tried hard to keep his feelings in check. "Nah," he finally answered. And then added silently, "She's in 'ospital." - "Hospital?" Sam's eyes went wide. "What for?" - "She's very ill, Sam." Gene started shaking again. Sam put an arm around his shoulders, squeezing Gene closer. "She had difficulty breathing... that's why she 'ad to be admitted again. She's got problems. She can't breathe, she shakes, she can't 'old anything, can't really walk anymore... She's in a wheelchair, Sam!" Gene almost cried out. He lowered his head again and tried to wiggle out of Sam's grip. Sam looked at him in shock. "A wheelchair? How does she..." - "Carry 'er up and down the stairs, each morning and night." Gene explained. "But she can't move around!" - "That's why her sister's 'ere." - "Her sister?" - "Yeah... she moved in some months ago, with me being at work all day and the missus needing 'elp. She's got the bedroom over there, closer to 'er's. That's why it's me in the guestroom..."

 

Sam's head had started spinning. The Guv lived with his wife and her sister, his wife being seriously ill... He mentally kicked himself for never noticing... "Did she have an accident? What happened to her?" he asked before he could stop himself. Gene cast him a glance of utter surprise but also fear and guilt. Sam didn't understand. But then Gene looked down on the floor again and started shaking. The sobs returned, hard sobs which made his whole body tremble. "Gene?" Sam stretched out his hand but Gene shoved him away. "Go 'ome, Tyler!" he bellowed. "Why? Why don't you want to tell me what happened?" - "'cause you already know." - "I do not know, that's why I'm asking." - "You know me." was Gene's cryptic answer before he started sobbing again. Sam felt absolutely helpless. He had never seen Gene in such a state. Completely lost, completely vulnerable, crumbled on the floor. "What do you have to do with it? It's not your fault she's ill... How could it be?" Gene lifted his head and stared at him. "'course it is!" he hissed, gritting his teeth. "How?" Sam asked tentatively. He knew the Guv was a force of nature but would he ever harm anyone close to him? Well, Sam had the bruises to prove that. But a woman? His own wife? Sam couldn't believe it.

 

Gene stared at the floor for a long time. He had stopped crying but still breathed heavily. Finally, he started talking. "We 'ad an argument. I had been drinking and she didn't like it. She didn't like me coming 'ome after 'aving been at the boozer, stinking and stumbling around in the 'ouse, making a lot of noise, waking 'er up." He made a pause, thinking. "She had come down the stairs, found me in the kitchen, just opening another bottle of beer. She asked me if I could please not wake 'er up when coming 'ome late. Asked whether I needed to 'ave another one. Well, I got angry at her. I didn't touch 'er but..." he stopped. "She saw I wasn't going to see reason so she banned me from the bedroom, said I could sleep on the couch. She brought down a cushion and a rug and then wanted to go to bed again, being tired. I shouted after her, said she could sleep wherever she wanted, I would do the same." He paused again, taking in a deep breath. Sam just sat there, listening, his hand still on Gene's knee, his shoulder touching Gene's. "She 'ad started to climb the stairs when I called after 'er. She turned and somehow stumbled and... and..." He started sobbing again. "Shht," Sam said and put his arm around Gene's shoulders again. "It's OK." - "I love 'er!" Gene almost shouted, then sobbed hard. "I love 'er, I would 'ave never..." Gene whispered... "I know."

 

Sam slowly rubbed Gene's back as Gene tried to get a grip of his feelings and stop crying. He still shook and breathed hard. "It's OK, it wasn't your fault." Sam tried to calm him. "But it was. And that's 'ow it started. The accident..." - "She got hurt?" Gene shook his head. "No. There was nothing wrong with 'er at first. But then... slowly... She had problems with 'er hands. Couldn't 'old the pans properly, they were too 'eavy. Couldn't 'old her cup in the end. Had to start feeding 'er. Problems with 'er legs, too. Walking became harder, she didn't know 'ow and why but she kept stumbling. Couldn't walk properly anymore. And was out of breath so easily...then we 'ad to put her in the bloody wheelchair..." Gene started shaking again.

 

"What's the diagnosis?" Sam asked silently. "Some poncey-arsed doctor told me but I can't remember. Said something about a guy named Lou that sometimes it's named after." "Lou?" Sam repeated. "Lou Gehrig? Shit, Guv, you're wife's got ALS??" Sam's eyes were widened with shock. "ALS?" Gene looked at him without understanding. "Yes, ALS. Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Also known as 'Lou Gehrig's disease'," Sam added. "Trust you to know that..." was all that Gene said.

 

"I'm so sorry, Gene," Sam managed to get out and pressed closer to him. Gene sighed. "So you also know it's fatal..." he replied finally. Sam stared at him, then nodded. "Did they tell you how much time she's got?" That was a bold question, he knew that, but he just had to know. "Couple of months..."

 

Sam shuffled even closer to Gene, his hand reaching out to touch his face. He put his hand onto Gene's pock-marked cheek. Gene sighed again but didn't pull away. He looked on the floor again. "I love 'er."

 

Sam slowly withdrew his hand. This wasn't the time for... this wasn't the time. He slowly stood up and then held out a hand to Gene. Gene grabbed it and Sam helped him get up. Gene stepped up to the basin and splashed some cold water onto his face, then dried it with a towel.

 

"You know we could visit her in hospital tomorrow. I could come with you." Sam suggested. Gene looked at him with astonishment. "Don't know whether that's a good idea." he said gruffly. Sam looked back, surprised. "Why not?" - "'er sister'll be there." He sighed again. "And...," he started but then didn't continue, looking for the right words. "We... you and me... you know... and 'er..." Sam was surprised. "WE?" he asked. "So you think there's a 'we'?" He smiled at Gene. "Well, I'm not one to fool around, Tyler. Even if it's been a while since the missus was up for anything," he swallowed hard but kept his feelings under control. Sam beamed at him, the smile almost splitting his face in two. "I'm honoured, Guv, to have earned your affections." Gene just stared at him. "But I will be a perfect gentleman." Sam added.

 

"So, going 'ome tonight?" Gene added after a short pause. Sam wasn't quite sure whether it was an invitation to leave or to stay.

 

"You know that ALS isn't caused by accidents, do you? It most likely is a genetic disease." Gene again just stared at him, questioningly. "It means that she has always had it, was born with it. Most probably inherited it from someone in the family. There's no indication that accidents tend to accelerate the outbreak. It's more likely that she stumbled because of the disease, that her legs were already weak. You had nothing to do with it."

 

Gene looked down again. "I caused her to turn on the stairs. I caused her to climb 'em up and down 'though she was tired. She always was that tired... It was me."

 

"Gene... I'm sure you had nothing to do with it. Don't feel guilty about it."

 

"I still love 'er."

 

"I know."


End file.
